He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
