Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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