I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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