he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
