I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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