So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You took a bar mat shot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
