How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
