There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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