As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
