I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
