i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
