Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
