NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize