I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They took my balls.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
