Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize