I want to walk on stilts...naked
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
