How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The Olympian is in my bed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
