Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
