I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize