dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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