obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
