her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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