Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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