I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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