Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
