She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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