not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
