I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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