It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
