So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
