Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
birth control should be required to get into college
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
