Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Drake has all the answers
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
