I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
