Already got asked if we're dating
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
