i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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