i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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