you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I did not marry a roomba.
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