you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
