Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
