We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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