can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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