apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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