hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
