I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
