Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Plan B is the new Plan A
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
