Buhtt sex?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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