I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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