Yo dont text me then not text me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was born a porn star she said
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
