Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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