Im at strip club and am horny
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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