Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
