Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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