i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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