I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
