Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
