your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
