I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize