yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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