I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
