Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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