I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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