i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
