lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
