so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
