i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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