i just wanna soil my oats bro
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
